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In the course of our lives, we must agree that there is no beauty without a struggle. Nobody likes to hear the story of someone who has everything easy. People want to listen to the stories of men and women who, as they were born in the valley of battle, endured pain and turned their battles into a gift.
How can you become stronger? What can you turn fight into beauty? Do you want people to look up to you? Or do you just want people to feel sorry for you?
Today or tomorrow you can feel frustrated. Maybe your dreams are not yet a concrete reality. Your life or career may somehow have taken a wrong turn. But to change that, the first thing to do is to look in yourself. So I will tell you a short story about my unusual path of change and transformation of battles to beauty over the years.
When I tell this story, it is because it is relevant to the subject of struggle, change and beauty. The story begins as I knew at a young age that I wanted to be and do something different than anyone else. But I just couldn't find out what it was.
A period of walking and wrestling
To this day I am interested in all kinds of subjects. At school I loved biology. But when I grew up with horses, I naturally came into contact with them. Then one day, after a few years, I was three years deep in the Soviet Navy. I was sent far away from everything I cherished, close to the pole pool.
In the beginning, this news was like a punch in the stomach. But in the months that followed, I realized that I loved animals, but a career started that just didn't suit me. It was just a way to earn a living and travel. This realization led to a period of wandering and struggling in my life.
After my service with the navy, I crossed into the US, traveled through North America and Europe and worked on every conceivable job. I was a waiter in Florida, became a guard in Belgium, worked as an animal caretaker in Colorado and then turned into an assistant surgeon for a veterinarian. Then I went to the Hollywood movie industry, where I worked as an extra and stuntman, and then converted to Russia as a driver.
The beauty of everything
I also worked as a shoe retailer in Texas, served as a customer representative for a sightseeing tour in Austria. In between, I even walked back to my native Ukraine, where I worked as a driver and bodyguard for escort girls, among other odd jobs. In these long years of walking, wrestling and beauty, I had taken over 30 different positions.
So here I was 50 years old and I couldn't settle for anything. Yes, I had moments of doubt, but I didn't feel lost. Instead, I was searching and exploring and I was hungry for experiences. During all this time I also loved writing. That year, while in Belgium, for another job, a friend gave me a book.
Suddenly, while reading, every struggle and everything in my incoherent past seemed to click into place, like magic. The beauty of it all was the result of all those different experiences. And so, the horses, the vet, the zoo, the film industry, and strangely enough, even the escort job gave me the skills to create my future and become stronger.
The moral of the story
All that experience gave me an enormous supply of ideas that I could draw on. Even those indifferent, seemingly random, jobs have exposed me to all kinds of cultures, mentalities, and beliefs. And the languages I learned while traveling also taught me things.
All these experiences contributed to rich layers of knowledge and practice that have changed me from within. In my own bizarre and intuitive way, I gave myself the perfect education for what to do in my life.
The moral of this story is that you may have a tendency to focus on what you can see with your eyes. As a human it is the most animal part of our nature. If you look at the changes and transformations in the lives of other people, you see the beauty and happiness that someone was in the right place at the right time and ignored the struggle they endured.
Struggle transforms into beauty
You see the success that brings the money and attention. In other words, you see the visible signs of opportunity and prosperity. You compare with the struggle in your own life, but you understand an illusion. What makes such dramatic changes possible are the things that occur on the inside of a person and are completely invisible.
The great thing is therefore the slow accumulation of knowledge and skills, the incremental improvements in work habits and the ability to resist criticism. Any change in people's fortune is only the visible manifestation of all that deep preparation over time.
The answer, the key to the ability to turn struggle into beauty, is incredibly simple. You have to reverse your approach. Stop concentrating on what other people say, do or think. And end the focus on the money, the connections, or the outward appearance of things.
The beauty looks inside
Look inside instead! Focus on the smaller internal changes that lay the foundation for a much larger shift in fortune. It is the difference between understanding an illusion and immersing yourself in reality. And the reality is what will liberate and transform you. Here's how this would work in your own life.
Consider the fact that you are fundamentally unique and unique. Look at the beauty of your DNA, the specific configuration of your brain and your life experiences. In early childhood this unique character manifested itself by the fact that you were particularly attracted to specific topics and activities. It is what the book "Mastery"evokes primary tendencies.
You cannot explain rationally why you feel so attracted to music, or to words, or to specific questions about the world around you or another field.
As you get older, you often lose contact with these tendencies. The battle comes when you listen to family members who encourage you to follow a certain career path. Or when teachers influence you, or by people who tell you what you are good and bad at. You listen to friends who tell you what is cool and what is not. At some point you can almost become a stranger to yourself.
Think about beauty and struggle
And so you enter career paths that are not suitable for you, emotionally and intellectually. The beauty of your life's task, your true calling, or your purpose as I call it, is to return to the tendencies and uniqueness that characterized you at birth.
And whatever age you find, as I did, you must remember those earliest tendencies. You have to look at those subjects in the present that continue to arouse that intense childish curiosity in you.
And a summary of the struggle of those topics and activities that you have had to do in recent years. On the basis of these reflections you determine the direction you need to take. So you have a loose but general structure that you can explore to find the angles and positions that suit you best.
No beauty without a fight
You have to listen carefully to yourself, to your internal radar. For me it was animal entertainment and Hollywood that didn't feel right. And so you slowly narrow your way while you collect skills.
Yet most people do not want a fight, but simple, directly straight paths to the perfect position and to success. But instead, you must welcome wrong turns and mistakes. They make you aware of your mistakes. And they broaden your experiences; they make you harder and bring the beauty that you want.
If you come to this process at a later age, you have to cultivate a new set of skills, just like I did. Get skills that match this change and direction you are going to follow and find a way to combine them with your previous skills.
No reward without challenge
If the least chance comes to you, you will use it now. In fact, you will still struggle, but you will also attract new opportunities because people will feel how prepared you are. So the way to transform yourself is through your work.
Of course you may believe that the beauty of self-transformation comes from a spiritual journey, therapy, a guru who tells you what to do, social experiences or even drugs. But it is not true, because most of these are ways to run away from yourself. Follow your inclinations instead and you can become who you really are instead of trying to be someone else.
Efforts, challenges and difficult times offer you much more value than at any other time in your life. You cannot grow or become stronger without struggle and resistance. So be thankful for its beauty and work on yourself to ensure that your future gets more pleasure than pain and regret.